This may truly be a black Friday.
A day in which the darkest forebodings are proven true, and when a dream and a gamble go bust, when the course of a lifetime turns ruinous.
Valerie is middle-aged, and lives in the suburbs of Rochester. She has a responsible job and looks like a model. She is a mother, and is separated.
That’s because of Eddie.
They started talking on Instagram earlier in the year.
He was overseas. Deployed. A serviceman, with about 20 years in. Special Forces.
And they had so much in common.
On one app or another, they wrote back and forth all the time. He was fun, and interesting, and attentive.
And in that artificial intimacy that spontaneously combusts on the Internet, she was warmed by the fire of their mutual attraction, and of the fantasy of the future they could build together.
She loved, and wanted to be loved. Like all humans.
And he wanted the same thing, he said.
But he also wanted money.
There was this problem or that surprise, an emergency had arisen, and there was their future to invest in.
He got wounded, he was transferred to another country, could she possibly get more? There was his mother and the shipping of his goods and money to pay for his discharge. More and more money.
Not for him, but for them.
And so, over the months of summer and fall, the 401k was emptied and the credit cards were maxed out on cash advances.
And the marriage came apart, and she left the family home, into a waiting, anticipating uncertainty.
And there she twisted, fired by hope, clinging to a dream, while the dollars drained away.
Which brings us to today.
Today is when he is supposed to come home. So that they can meet. So that they can fall into one another’s arms. So that they can begin their life together. So that she can get her money back.
But he’s not going to come home, and none of those things are going to happen.
You and I know that, but she can’t believe that. She can’t bring herself to accept that. She clings to the lifeline of possibility, the chance that it is real, that he is real, that she has not just destroyed her life over the lies of a conman.
This is one lady in one town, but she is one of hundreds of thousands, and probably more, waylaid and robbed in the no-man’s land that social media has become. Neither the government nor the billion-dollar companies seem to care about the rampant use of platforms like Instagram and Facebook as free-fire zones for the victimization of innocent people. Folks who wouldn’t dream of driving through supposedly dangerous parts of town blissfully wander through the minefield social media has put on their smartphones.
In a few short months, Valerie lost her family and her life’s savings. There might be an impulse to criticize, mock or dismiss, to describe her as naïve or foolish, some needy woman seduced with pretty stories. She has those fears, and speaks of being embarrassed and ashamed, and of hating herself. She said she feels like a fool.
But her response, her emotional response, was innate – almost instinctual – and was understood and triggered by the conman who has psychologically assaulted her. And while she understands that intellectually, and was warned about it repeatedly, it nonetheless grips her emotionally.
“I love him,” she said this morning. “I had to stay true to it and see it through.
“The asking (for) money stopped until recently, as he was trying to get out of there due to the conditions. And I want him home so I sent more money. Then he said he had something to ship home and it went from there.
“Now he is supposedly having to pay customs, and doesn’t want to leave without resolving that.
“So, it really doesn’t tell me (if he) is leaving today, and where that leaves us.”
That’s what she’s facing today, while the rest of us enjoy the day off, or scurry around to take advantage of department store sales.
She’s facing the reality of what this year has brought – the reality of what this year has caused her to lose.
Maybe she will understand that by the end of the day, or maybe she will be strung along yet more by his predatory lies and her own psychological needs.
This woman is not different. She is neither stupid nor weak nor foolish. But she is human. And her humanity has been ruthlessly exploited by criminal conduct that is similarly ravaging countless women and men across this country. She is the victim of a horrifying crime, and deserving of sympathy.
And vengeance.
The rest of us must be aware of criminal conduct like this, and the government and the companies must do more to punish and prevent it.
To spare more innocent victims their own black Fridays.