LONSBERRY: Are 'Sir' And 'Ma'am' Hate Speech?

My grandmother instilled it in me, and my drill sergeant set it in cement.

When speaking to a woman, you use the courtesy title, “ma’am;” and when speaking to a man, you use the courtesy title, “sir.”

It’s simple manners, a show of respect, a courtesy to which everyone is entitled.

Except that now it’s not.

Now it’s hate speech.

And officers of the Rochester Police Department have been told to drop “sir” and “ma’am” from their vocabulary.

As part of an agreement between the Out Alliance and the RPD, reached in the run-up to this year’s Gay Pride Parade, officers have been trained not to use the words. The new directiveis part of the same agreement that reduced the visibility of police officers at the parade, the gay-rights group having claimed that their presence triggered bad memories of alleged police persecution of gay people.

The thinking is that “sir” and “ma’am” are based on a potentially bigoted assumption of gender. “Ma’am” presumes femaleness and “sir” presumes maleness, and in the modern worldsuch presumptions are supposedly based in bias.

This is coming from the same people who think they need to declare their pronouns.

As long as there has been humankind, there has been human gender – male or female. It’s written in our DNA, it’s the driving power of the Darwinian understanding of life.

But now it’s not. Now, politics so drives science and common sense that the woke are compelled to deny gender as anything other than a personal choice. We are so empowered webelieve we can command biology and creation.

So up is down and down is up, white is black and black is white, good is evil and evil is good.

And gender is self-chosen.

Which is fine. People can believe whatever bullcrap they want to. This is a pursuit of happiness country and how you choose to pursue your happiness is your business and I wishyou nothing but the best.

But when your happiness starts running my life, we’ve got a problem. When the self-centered claims of one group seek preeminence over the entire culture, we’re not talking aboutfreedom anymore, we’re talking about oppression.

And the language should not be stripped of courtesy because somebody might get his/her panties/boxers in a bunch.

Specifically, the vast majority of the population should not be denied the honor of a respectful appellation in order to safeguard the whim of a fraction of one percent of thepopulation. The tens of millions of Americans whose culture teaches them to use courtesy titles should not be forced to change or bear the stigma of bigotry because someone else has decided to make them an offender for a word.

In terms of Rochester, New York, I know that the mayor, county executive, sheriff and district attorney use “sir” and “ma’am” all the time. They do this because they are well-raisedand well-mannered people with social grace. By doing this, they set a good example, for their families and for the people they serve and lead. Are we now to believe that their use of these words shows a disrespect for transgender people or people who don’twant either gender?

Bullcrap.

If you choose to feel disrespected by someone else’s attempt to show respect, that’s on you, not on them.

And the demand that Rochester police officers lay aside titles of respect for the people they serve is nuts. And will be disappointing or even aggravating to the people they dealwith every day.

The police are now told to address individuals as “you,” and to add an additional identifier if need be to avoid confusion – such as “you, in the blue jeans” or “you, in the car.”

For most people in our society, that strikes the ear as rude and disrespectful. And seeming rude and disrespectful sure doesn’t seem like a good way to improve the community relationsRochester is so concerned about. It is patently wrong to refer to an elderly person as “you,” and deny them the respect and dignity which “ma’am” and “sir” recognizes.

This new rule is preposterous. It is bending over backward in the name of political correctness. It shows selfishness on the part of those who asked and weakness on the part ofthose who complied.

So what do you call somebody whose gender isn’t clear?

I use the phrase, “my friend,” in lieu of “sir” or “ma’am.” But you could also simply omit a courtesy title, or ask their name. It’s not a hard problem, and it’s not a commonproblem. And it doesn’t require a rewrite of the language to address it.

That’s not being insensitive, that’s being practical.

The new view is wrong.

I’m sticking with my grandmother and my drill sergeant.

And the police should, too.


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