The right time to do the right thing is always right now.
Even if we're talking about having children.
Do not put off until tomorrow what you were born to do. Do not delay or diminish the best and most important part of life. Do not presume that the supply of years is limitless, or that time will always move glacially and extend endlessly.
Now is the time. This is the season.
Delay tempts sorrow, forestalls opportunities, diminishes joys.
I am writing this to young adults, to people at the start of life, who might be tempted to linger at a stage of life instead of advancing toward the fullness of life. I am writing because the message of your day and generation is mistaken.
Being a parent is not a burden, it is a joy. It is not a part of life, it is the purpose of life. Delaying the birth of children does not allow you to learn about yourself, it keeps you from completely being yourself. You can only truly "find yourself" in the service of others, and that is nowhere more true than in the walls of your own home and heart.
No career, no thrill, no money, no adventure or pleasure can in any way compare to the satisfaction and soul-warming ecstacy found in being a parent. When God said "Be fruitful, and multiply," he wasn't looking out for himself, he was looking out for you. He was pointing you toward the path of true happiness in life.
In our society, fewer children are being born, and they are being born to people later in life. That is not a good thing, and ultimately may be a heartbreaking and society-weakening thing.
Certainly, our situations and our decisions are unique and our own. They are none of anyone else's business. Whether one has children, and how many children one has, are matters of personal choice, life situation and physical realities that may be beyond our control. But in the mainstream, in the norm, the experience of the ages -- the message of all cultures and faiths -- is that having children is a good thing.
And you should not delay a good thing.
Not for education, not for the start of a career, not for the buying of a house, not for the enjoyment of adventures, not to spend time getting to know one another, not for anything. A delay is a delay, and a delay is a gamble with very high stakes.
And on the far side of delay there is very often regret. The regret begotten of misspent years and changing biological realities. Every couple of years of delay is a child you may one day wish you could have had. Every day of delay is a day of the lives of your future children and grandchildren you won't be around to see.
And the day you delay may have been the only day you had.
Nature has wired us to work in a way that current society tries to ignore. That leads many to a rude awakening when social norms are trumped by natural absolutes.
That leads many to find themselves with a hole in their hearts and in their lives.
It also leaves many unblessed by the struggles, joys, opportunities and lessons of parenthood. Being a mom or a dad is not a drudgery, it is a refinement. It calls us to be better people, to gain new maturities and wisdoms, to develop insights and strengths. A loving parent is a better person, and the fullest enjoyment and growth of life comes from raising and loving children.
The building of a family, the leap of faith in yourself and in the future, the miraculous creation of life, the partnership of parenthood, the love of child for parent and parent for child. All of these things are precious, and of greater value than any earthly bauble.
It may be selfishness that keeps some from parenthood. If so, it is a short-sighted selfishness that ultimately lessens the true substance and enjoyment of life.
Don't let the clock run out. Don't let the time run down. Don't steal grandchildren from your parents, or grandparents from your grandchildren. Don't let the day of opportunity pass, never to return.
The right time to do the right thing is right now.
And being a parent is the right thing.
So get after it.
Before it is too late.
Lonsberry kids part 1 from June 2015
(left to right) Aubrey, Sophie (pregnant with Bob's 1st grandchild) Hannah and Lee
Lonsberry kids part 2 (from bottom to top of dogpile) Jack, Blue-eyed Ellie, Robbie, Scott & Sam