One of the benefits of having a baseline schizoid personality is the fact that when you go wacky no one really knows it. Jim Carrey announced that he is not having a nervous breakdown Actually, the real quote was:

This is no breakdown! It's a breakthrough! And if you'll just loosen these straps, I'll show you the difference!"

I guess we have to take that with a grain of salt, along with a number of other things have been publicized recently. Perhaps the doctor will see fit to order more than a grain of salt-----a ton of salt may be the more likely prescription. In fact, you may wish to take all of the following with at least a grain or two of salt:

1-Lady Gaga claims that people should not have sex. Considering her mode of dress, and the way she danced in front of her audience, before teaming up with Tony Bennet, I'm assuming that Madonna, Pamela Anderson, and Jesse James' porn star ex-wife will all be jumping on the celibacy bandwagon in the very near future.

2- Since the "L." word is no longer acceptable we must use the word "progressive" instead.

3-What used to be considered liberal ie- love of, devotion for , and adherence to the Bill of Rights is now considered conservative. Either way-Although I ‘m no Tea Partier, and don’t feel like I'm a Democrat or Republican, I'm like everyone who claims to be either- I want the government to get off of our backs, and I want my freedom back. If we could lower taxes too-that would be just great.

4-Both parties claim that the other party is responsible for our tremendous deficit.

5- Both parties claim that the other party is responsible for what is happening in our local, state, or federal government .

6-Neither party has any hint of what the hell is happening in our local, state, or federal government.

7-Each party claims to hate activist judges, until the other party nominates somebody for the bench, at which point each party claims that that other party’s nominee is an activist.

8-Neither party knows what the hell an activist judge is.

9- Advertising done by pharmaceutical companies has your best interest at heart

10-Although attorneys have been deemed to have First Amendment rights to run ridiculous advertising, such as the one I recently saw where two partners are laughing about the fact that one of them just fell. These are the same two people who ran an ad that appears to make light of a construction worker falling off of a building. My clients who suffer such falls are usually paralyzed so we should remember that -we each have the right to react to such a ludicrous abuse of the First Amendment.

11-If you want to see those ads stop-just make sure you and your friends do not use firms that engage in such demeaning tactics.

12-I mean it!